Confidence is something that we have the ability to retrieve. I use the word ‘retrieve’ because there will have been a time in your life when you had more confidence.
Have you ever spent time with a young child?
You will know that they do what they want, take what they want and ask ‘why’ repeatedly so that they understand.
They often say things that as adults we would be afraid to say and do the things that as adults, we are afraid to do.
It’s not unusual to see a small child splashing in a puddle or singing out loud or dancing in a public place.
As young children we didn’t have a fear of judgement; doing what we wanted was far more important that the opinions of others.
As a child, YOU had confidence.
How Do We Lose It?
We can lose our confidence in many ways including:
It’s never too late to re-discover your confidence.
Here are my top 7 confidence hacks for doing so:
Understand that someone else’s opinion of your does not have to define your reality.
Their opinion is based on their life experiences and the way that they see the world. Their opinion is just a token guess as what they perceive to be true.
You do not have to let the words of another influence your thoughts or actions.
Understanding that they think that way because of what they have personally experienced brings great freedom.
It allows you to hear their words but not lead a life defined by them.
Acknowledge that what you believe about yourself may not be true.
We base our lives on our beliefs and our beliefs form at a very young age and are dependent on what we experience.
We interpret situations based on the knowledge that we have a at the time, but we are often missing knowledge.
Maybe you were a child that experienced a parent’s divorce?
Maybe you began to believe that you were ‘not enough’?
Is it possible that you have carried this ‘false belief’ into adulthood and have been living your life accordingly?
A life coach will help you change your belief and gain fresh new insights. They will help you ‘see the truth’ so that you can choose to start living with more empowering beliefs.
Step outside of your comfort zone.
The term ‘comfort zone’ is rather misleading. What brings us short term comfort brings us long – term pain.
We only gain confidence when we choose to step out and do things that make us feel fear.
The bigger the fear, the more our confidence will grow.
If you choose to wait ‘until you feel confident enough’ then you will be waiting a long time.
You gain confidence through taking action, not waiting to take action.
Focus on your strengths and achievements.
Write down all of your strengths.
What do other people say you are good at?
What do you do better than others?
Start to focus on what you have that makes you special.
Focus on your unique gifts.
Then write down all of your achievements to date. Include achievements as a child, teenager and adult.
What did you get through that you are proud of?
What did you work for and achieve?
Display these lists somewhere that you see them every single day so that you are constantly reminded of your skills and abilities.
Choose to volunteer.
Choosing to volunteer will profoundly increase your confidence.
Giving to others will make you feel amazing and constantly remind you that you can make a difference in the world.
When we see that our actions can make such a difference, we feel more confident and empowered.
If you don’t have the time to volunteer on a regular basis, then seek opportunities when you could occasionally do this.
Try new things.
Commit to trying new things on a regular basis.
Why not try a new sport or hobby?
When we try new things, we learn that we are capable of doing and experiencing more which grows our confidence.
Why not set yourself a goal of trying one new thing a week or month?
Make it something that you have never tried before!
Make a list of all of the new things that you would like to try and work your way through it!
Practice standing tall. Stand as if a confident person would stand.
Walk the way a confident person would walk.
Observe the body language of confident people and learn from them.
You will notice that they stand tall, chin up and have very ‘open’ body language.
By standing tall and acting ‘as if’ you are confident you actually trick the brain into believing that you are more confident.
You will increase your testosterone levels associated with power simply by changing the way that you stand and move!
Finally, I’d recommend reading books that reveal how others re-gained their confidence.
I’m always inspired by the real-life stories of others, particularly those who have triumphed through adversity.
If you want to read the stories of two people who have found their confidence through a personal challenge, then check out these books below:
Once we stop thinking solely on the big moments in our lives, we can begin to focus on those smaller opportunities that tend to pass us by. These are the events—the inflection points in our lives—that can determine how we feel about life now, where we are headed in the future, and how many lives we can impact along the way. We can’t always choose the path we walk, but we can choose how we walk it. Empowering, inspiring, remarkably honest, and heartfelt, O’Leary’s strength and incredible spirit shine through on every page.
What Would Your Life be Like if Anything Were Possible? Born without arms or legs, Nick Vujicic overcame his disabilities to live an independent, rich, fulfilling, and “ridiculously good” life while serving as a role model for anyone seeking true happiness. Now an internationally successful motivational speaker, Nick eagerly spreads his central message: the most important goal is to find your life’s purpose and to never give up, despite whatever difficulties or seemingly impossible odds stand in your way.
Their stories very clearly demonstrate that we find the most confidence through the most challenging times!
(2 of the links within this blog are Amazon affiliate links which means that the author will receive a small commission for products sold. This does not affect you in any way and simply supports this website and it’s mission to make the world a happier place).
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