Love, Limit or Leave?

Research demonstrates that spending time with specific types of people either enhances or negatively affects our health and well-being.

Who you spend the most time with is who you become, so it’s worth thinking about who you surround yourself with on a daily basis.

Many years ago, I went through a very difficult time and eventually re-built my life to discover a happier and more fulfilled life as a result.

Choosing to surround myself with positive people during this time was part of my recovery strategy, and led to the development of my “Love, Limit or Leave” relationship rule!

You can apply this same rule to your life to maximise your own personal happiness!

I’d recommend writing down the names of the people that you spend the most time with in your life. (Do it now, not later. I’m a firm believer in taking action NOW!)

Look through the list you have compiled and ask yourself, “What impact does each of these individuals have on my life and my dreams?”

If an individual supports you and believes in you and your dreams, I’d highly recommend nurturing and LOVING this relationship.

Spend as much time as possible with people that you LOVE for their attitude and their inspiration.

If someone on your list is an expert “dream squasher”, then it is beneficial to LIMIT time spent with these people.

Dream squashers are not bad people, they are fearful people. They are afraid that your positive change will negatively affect their well-being so will try to stop you growing. Alternatively, your change may be a reminder of their own unhappiness. It’s often easier for them to bring you down, than rise with you.

If an individual on your list has a very negative impact on your life, then it’s time to seriously consider LEAVING the relationship.

You do not have to spend time with people that damage you or your life. It’s not always an easy step, but once taken it may bring great rewards.

Many years ago a close friend spent every Sunday afternoon visiting a friend of her late father’s. She felt obliged to visit, yet when she did she received a constant barrage of insults and negative comments. She was told that she was never there for her father, and should have lived life differently. She was told how she “should’ have been there when she wasn’t.

She tried deflecting his comments, and pretending that they didn’t upset her, but often rang me after a visit in tears.

During one particular telephone conversation, I shared with her the LOVE, LIMIT, LEAVE rule which allowed her to see that she had a choice.

She decided to LEAVE the relationship and spend more time with people that she LOVED. It changed her life, and it could change yours too!

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