The Secrets Of A Life Coach

Having been a life coach for 14 years, I’m aware that many people are curious about my own life.

As I help people find happiness, they often ask how I found happiness and I’m always willing to share and reveal my secrets. So I thought I’d put together the most common questions that I’m sure that many coaches are asked!

Why are you always so happy?

I’m happy because I’ve been unhappy, very unhappy.

Being at rock-bottom enabled me to take a long hard look at myself and my life.

Re-building my life I began to understand that we have choices.

Every single day we can choose to be happy or sad based on our thoughts.

I choose to spend more time at the happiness end of the scale!! (You will find that many life coaches have been through challenging times).

Surely you must have bad days?

Absolutely. I’m human. Things go wrong. Stuff happens.

Occasionally I find myself wallowing in the home of self-pity. I just choose not to stay there.

I’ve discovered that people can sometimes perceive me to be ‘lucky’. They see me doing a job that I love, going on frequent holidays abroad and having fun with friends.

What they don’t see are the challenges that I face on a regular basis, but I’m not sharing this to encourage sympathy but to inspire.

What people don’t realise is that I experience physical pain on most days.

At the age of 35 years old I was diagnosed with hip dysplasia and underwent major surgery.

At the age of 37, I had to have a hip replacement.

My muscles have never fully recovered and the drill bit broke off inside me and stills sits there to this day.

Every day I experience muscular pain. Some nights the pain wakes me from my sleep. No-one knows how long the hip replacement will last. As a result, I really live my life for today in case there comes a day when my freedom is comprised due to physical ability.

And I definitely don’t let the pain hold me back!

My husband also has a rare genetic disorder which constantly threatens both his sight and his health in many ways.

When he was first diagnosed, watching him lose his sight rapidly could definitely be classed as a period of ‘bad days’.

Although much of his sight has been restored, we don’t expect it to last as he repeatedly deteriorates between treatments.

We don’t know what the future holds but we know that it will be good because we will choose to make it that way.

Having experienced ‘genuine bad days’ it brings the gift of perspective. As human beings, we often loosely use the term ‘having a bad day’ when we really only have a ‘bad two minutes’ in any given day.

We need to see it as it is, not worse than it is.

Do life coaches eat chocolate?

Yes. And I like white wine. And the occasional cream cake.

And I don’t buy Walkers Ready Salted Crisps very often because I will eat them all.

Having met many coaching clients within supermarkets, I often notice that they notice what’s in my shopping trolley!

I’ve been guilty myself of looking in my GP’s shopping trolley to see if they buy white or wholemeal bread!!

Life coaches are not perfect. I sometimes eat junk.

I sometimes have a little too much wine.

I sometimes don’t exercise as we should.

But I always get back on track.

I don’t believe that life is about perfection or trying to be perfect.

I believe that life is about being authentically me, standing imperfect in all my glory (I stole those words from a friend). And I believe them.

Are you children as positive as you?

Yes. I’m super proud of all 3.

They have grown up with me being a coach.

I’ve never consciously tried to impact their lives with coaching, but I think they’ve probably unconsciously absorbed a lot.

They are all inspiring, caring and powerful individuals with a deep sense of compassion.

They even have the ability to throw coaching questions at me when I need to hear them.

My youngest (now 18) only recently said, “Come on mum, re-frame this situation”!

When we create positive changes in our lives, we often don’t realise the positive impact that it has on our family.

Looking back now, I see that my own change had a huge positive impact on my family, and I hope that this continues for generations to come.

How did you become a life coach?

I saw an advertisement for life coaching in a magazine. Not really knowing what was involved but following my heart, I booked onto it.

A whole new world opened up as a result.

I remember being sat on the course with Curly Martin (Achievement Specialists) thinking “How do people not know about this stuff?”

It was then I decided that it was going to be my mission to educate, inspire and help people find happiness forever.

Fourteen years later I’m still driven by this mission.

I also went on to do many other courses including working my way up through the levels of Neuro-Linguistic Programming to reach trainer level.

I’m also a qualified hypnotherapist, mentor and VCDT practitioner.

I guess I’m not your ‘standard life coach’ as I’m experienced in many fields.

My clients repeatedly call me a ‘life-changer’ so I started using that title to explain the power of my work and my life mission!

Do you live what you teach?

Yes. Absolutely. I live, breathe and dream personal development and happiness.

It still excites me now as much as it did on day one.

I believe that anything is possible.

I love to make things happen and love to overcome things to make things happen. I love to connect people to other people to make things happen too.

I thrive on helping others become better people living happier lives.

I can feel myself tingle just thinking about this as I type!

Do you have lots of positive friends?

Yes. Many.

On my journey from rock bottom to the top many years ago I began to realise the impact of the people that we have in our lives.

I created the LOVE, LIMIT or LEAVE rule.

I love the people that lift me, I limit time with those that don’t, and leave the relationships that don’t serve me.

I share this knowledge with my clients who often implement the same strategy.

What do people not know about you?

They don’t know that I failed my A-Levels the first time around because at the age of 17 I prioritised partying over learning!

They don’t know that I dropped out of university after a year.

Whilst training to be a P.E teacher I suddenly realised that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in a school.

I then worked as a self-employed fitness instructor for many years and have also worked as a massage therapist and reflexologist.

What do you love most of all?

Apart from family, friends and my work…

  • John Denver (I’m not kidding)
  • Sushi (especially the ginger)
  • Kayaking
  • The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe & Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
  • My monofin (I’m a closet mermaid)
  • Travel (the more off the beaten track the better)
  • Camping & cooking outside

What is your personal mantra?

“Adversity doesn’t break you; it makes you. But that’s a choice”

If you could give one message to the world what would it be?

Live a life that you love and accept no compromise. Don’t try to fit in because you were born to stand out. You are all truly beautiful human beings with amazing and limitless potential. You were put on this earth to use your talents to make a difference to others, so use them. And love unconditionally and forever. Be relentlessly kind to others, always. And always follow your heart”.

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